


lovelytheband - broken

by chumpi



Category: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Bisexual Bucky Barnes, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Depression, Hurt Peter Parker, Multi, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker Angst, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Whump, Peter Parker-centric, Peter is an adult, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Bucky Barnes, Rejection, Romantic Soulmates, Steve Rogers Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Top Bucky Barnes, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2019-06-28 02:44:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15698505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chumpi/pseuds/chumpi
Summary: Peter has Buckys name on his wrist. Bucky doesn't have his.Peter loves Bucky to the moon and back. Bucky loves somebody else.Peter Breaks.(PETER IS AN ADULT)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RebelGoneWild](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RebelGoneWild/gifts).



> ok so instead of this being a uh oneshot request for 'winterspider oneshots' i decided to make aNoThEr story out of it oops.

Peter traced the name on the inside of his wrist, a wistful look forming on his face as he examined the messy, familiar writing tainting his skin from since he was born. He’d been doing this a lot lately, climbing onto the roof of the Avengers Tower and watching the sunset, usually tracing the name as he did so. 

He’d already met his soulmate, but technically, his soulmate hasn’t met _him -_ seeing as he doesn’t even have a name on his wrist like the rest of the world, anyway.

They say it was probably HYDRA’s fault for him not having a name anymore. With all of the years of heartless torture and mind-washing piled up together, it was no surprise that there was no name on his wrist.

So really, for Peter, the “James Buchanan Barnes” in messy handwriting meant nothing – not that it _would_ mean anything even if he told anyone.

Bucky had met somebody. Peter pretended not to be jealous. 

They worked well together – Bucky and his dame Carla that is. They completed each other, people would say, with Bucky not having a soul mark and Carla’s soulmate dead they seemed perfect for each other. 

 

_If only they knew the truth._

 

Peter sighed, kicking his legs over the edge of the building; watching as his undone shoe laces flapped about in the strong wind. It was soothing, almost, to come up to the roof.  
Allowed him to almost ‘disconnect’ from the real world. Away from everything _bad_ going on in his life. Mostly with Bucky and Carla, but that was to be expected with his situation). 

With the high pitched whistle of the wind and the loud honking coming from civilians stuck in traffic Peter hadn’t heard the heavy clunk of combat boots hitting the concrete, heading towards him in a slow motion until there was a metal hand resting on his shoulder.

He froze under the undeniably familiar touch. “Hey Pete.” Buckys voice washed over the arachnid like a bucket of cold water. The once blistering heat that came from any of the soldiers stray touched had washed out into something _cold._

 

Bucky’s voice once again snapped Peter out of his thoughts, “We’re having a movie night, watching Star Wars. Tony asked me to come and get you.” 

Another movie night, not a surprise. They always had one on Saturday nights. But they always went the same way anyway - they'd put on a movie that everyone had decided on, and everyone would enjoy. They've all settled down, ready to watch the move and _Carla_ decides she _doesn't_ want to watch the movie they'd chosen and has a hissy-fit till she gets her own way. 

 

_It was always the same._

 

Peter paused, contemplating what he should with respond with – but he already knew, really. 

“Will- will Carla be there?” His voice would’ve been most likely classed as ‘quiet’ with anyone other than a super soldier.  
Bucky just gave him a look as if to say, “Obviously?” Much to the boys distaste. 

Peter sighed, eventually giving in and pushing himself upwards and off of the dangerous ledge, forcing himself to pretend not to notice the hand Bucky had held out to help him up, instead brushing past with as little contact as possible, heading for the stairs leading down to the common area. 

He didn’t spare Bucky another glance as he went to sit next to his dad and pops, simply excited to be able to watch one of his favourite mov- 

 

“Buck, I don’t wanna watch this. Can we _please_ watch something else?” 

With his enhanced hearing, Peter could catch Carla’s whiny voice piercing his ear drums from a mile away. 

_God,_ she better not convince Bucky to change the film for her own pleasure. He might just snap. 

 

Peter thought to soon apparently, because one minute he was raging in his mind, and the next, Bucky was speaking up over the start of the movie. “Hey, do you mind if we watch something else? Carla doesn’t really want to watch Star Wars.” 

Everyone seemed to be okay with it, and why wouldn’t they be? It’s just a movie choice at the end of the day, but with the pressure of having to keep your soulmate a secret for the sake of them, the pain of knowing your soulmate is _fooling around_ with somebody else and the pure unadulterated feeling of rejection Peter was going through, piled up together? Peter was practically a ticking time bomb ready to detonate with the wrong move. 

 

And here it was, the wrong move.

 

“Actually, I do mind!” Peter snapped, standing up from his previous sitting position. “We go through this every bloody movie night purely because pretty, perfect Carla over here doesn’t want to watch a single movie unless it’s something mushy and romantic!” He ranted bitterly, ignoring the warning looks he was getting off of his dads. 

“I just want to be able to watch one single movie without _her_ interrupting! Is that so much to fucking ask for?” He complained angrily. You could practically _see_ the smoke pouring out of his ears. He was like a raging bull shown red, really. 

 

Everyone was silent, not knowing how to respond. Peter had never (shishter) snapped like this before in the past, so he must have _really_ wanted to watch Star Wars, or it was something deeper than that. 

 

Peter practically deflated at the silence, his cheeks flushed red from anger and most likely embarrassment. He avoided everyone’s confused gazes as he took a step backwards towards the hall. “I’m just going to go now.” He mumbled, doing a 180 and leaving the room in a hasty escape.

 

Nobody stopped him.


	2. Chapter 2

Peter lay on his bed with a sour expression, his arms crossed over his chest and he sniffled. God, why did he have to do that? Why couldn’t he just control himself for once? He was such an idiot.

 

The arachnid let out a loud groan, holding a pillow over his face as he let out a hoarse scream, kicking his legs on the bed and he tried to relieve the tension from his body and the stress from his mind. 

 

It was all getting to be too much for him, if he was honest. From being a spider vigilante, to being forced to watch his soulmate fall deeper and deeper in love with somebody who wasn’t him? He felt as if he was at breaking point. 

 

Peter sighed softly, moving the pillow away and dragging a hand over his face. He didn’t understand why he was thinking like this- being like this, people around the world had it so much worse than him. He’s being selfish.

 

He shook his head slightly as he moved to sit up, swinging his legs over the edge of his bed and he was about to head to his bathroom when a knock was sounding on his door. 

 

Huh?

 

Peter was sure he hadn’t heard anyone come up, and he had super hearing, he thinks he’d notice if somebody was heading to his room- unless.. unless the person coming to his room was a trained super solider who had mastered the art of sneaking after being taught over and over again by hydra. 

 

Playing dumb, seemed to be the best idea, however. 

 

“Who is it?” He croaked out, cursing his vocals for making it sound as if he had been crying, which he had, but that definitely wasn’t the point. Nope. Nope. Nope. 

 

There was silence for a few moments before a deep voice was rumbling out; “It’s Bucky. Can I come in?” 

 

God, Bucky’s voice had always made Peters skin tingle and his cheeks flame up in the most ridiculous fashion. The way it had evened out into a deep drawl- much different from the hesitant tone it had been just months ago made him fall deeper in love with the older man-

 

His face flushed when he realised he hadn’t actually answered Bucky’s question and he groaned, mentally scalding himself for being dumb, before nodding to himself. “Yeah, yeah you can come in.” He said with a small sigh, mentally preparing himself for whatever was about to go down. 

 

Was Bucky going to shout and scream at him? Tell him to leave Cara alone? No- that didn’t seem very Bucky-like.. but then again, peter had gone after his girlfriend. 

 

Peter wasn’t left anymore time to ponder on it when the door was being pushed open and a brooding super soldier was stepping inside. “Peter?” He asked softly, tilting his head to the side in such a gentle way that peter was breaking down- he wouldn’t be able to handle it if Bucky hated him too, and he couldn’t help but let the words tumble past his lips. 

 

“God Bucky I am so, so, so sorry! I swear I don’t have anything against Cara I was just feeling pretty overwhelmed from school yesterday and patrol and homework and I let my anger take over. I know I shouldn’t have and I’m sorry! I understand if you’re angry and don’t wanna talk to me anymore but I swear I am really, really sorry!” He practically word-vomited, his cheeks turning a bright shade of red and his hands shook in his lap.

 

oh god, oh god, oh god, it was getting harder to breathe, his chest felt like it was constricting and his head was light. was he seriously going to have a panic attack in front of his soulmate? 

 

Peter was surging towards his window, not even giving Bucky a chance to properly respond before he was swinging out into the dark of New York City.


	3. Chapter 3

Peter slid down against the cracked and mossy wall of a back alley, his chest heaving with each, rickety breath he managed to drag in and a heavy sob passed from his dry lips. 

 

It all hurt. Every breath he took and every thought that passed through his mind hurt- ached like a constant pain he could never even begin to get rid of. It was all too much at once.

 

Black spots began to invade his already blurry vision and everything began to mash into shapeless, blurring forms- all different colours, almost like a rainbow.

 

It was pretty, he’d thought, just like a rainbow, he’d thought, losing himself in the pastel colours until he went to take in a deep breath and was reminded by the harsh of reality that he couldn't breathe. 

 

Although.. maybe this was for the best? Maybe dying out here alone, choking on his own breath, was the best way to go? It seemed ideal to him, not having to deal with the reality of his soulmate loving another; not having to deal with the constant fear that he was going to lose another loved one, just like aunt May and uncle Ben. 

 

Peter was beginning to accept it, allowing his body to relax against the broken wall as best as it could despite the situation. Maybe he was just being dramatic, despite what’d happened with Bucky and- and her, he couldn’t just leave the rest of his family, right? His dad and pops, aunt Carol, aunt Nat- uncle Clint? They- they’d miss him, he was sure of it- 

He tried to push himself up again but found himself unable to, his hands shaking against the cold ground. Weak. Weak is how he felt, both physically and emotionally. He prayed, and he prayed hard- he prayed for life, that he didn’t die here tonight, and he prayed for his wishes to be answered. 

 

“Please-“ He croaked softly.

 

“Please, whoever’s up there.. God? Jesus? Just-“ he paused, taking in a shaky, barely there breath. 

 

“Please help me,” he whimpered, finally fading into the dark horrors of unconsciousness.

 

Beep, beep, beep, bee.. 

 

The first thing Peter heard when he woke was the consistent sound of a heart monitor, going on and on and on and he groaned.

 

A hand flew up to his forehead and an involuntary whine fell from his parted lips.

 

“Ow.” He whimpered, going to sit up but then a pair of hands were - gently - pushing him back down against the plush mattress.

 

“Just relax, baby. You gave us quite a scare there y’know, bub.” 

 

Oh. That was his pops soothing voice and a small smile graced his features. He’d recognise it anywhere- remembered it well. Although, that was no surprise, he’d been hearing Steve’s deep and caring voice since he was a mere 8 years old. 

 

“He’s right, Pete. You nearly sent me into a damn heart attack, swinging away and all of that jazz.” 

 

Ah, there was his dads familiar voice- humour and worry all laced into one tone and Peter’s smile widened, going to apologise but Tony was continuing again.

 

“Ah, ah, ah-! No need to speak, underoos. You need your sleep and we can talk more about your little stunt tomorrow, okay?” 

 

Peter nodded finally, his eyes slipping closer again and he shuffled into a more comfortable position.

 

There was no point in arguing with his dad, especially not when he had his pops to back him up, too, and so, he let himself fall into a deeper slumber.


End file.
